Tag Archives: god

Something Is Wrong

I do a lot of reading. Between novels, emails, subscriptions to news media, my beloved New York Times, and countless other options, I am in a constant state of perusal. The spigot is broken as the words cascade into my email and pile up on my desk. So much to read, so little time…

In addition to the almost limitless sources listed above, I receive a few listservs: daily, weekly, and monthly missives from various organizations. One of the ones I enjoy reading is from a Jewish spirituality institute with which I was involved. The institute has a special place in my heart. I gained some beautiful insights from the teachers and my fellow participants on various retreats and subsequent study sessions.

I remember returning from one of the retreats lit up with Jewish spiritual practice, infused with some new Jew-Bu (a mash-up of Jewish and Buddhist philosophies) vocabulary. I was asked to do a d’var Torah for the TBA executive committee, I think, and went on a Jewish mystical tangent. I sat down, feeling the afterglow of spiritual engagement, when Patti B. of blessed memory, leaned over the table and said to me, sotto voce, “What the hell was that all about?”

Yes, spirituality can be difficult to teach to those not entirely fluent in the language or concepts of the transcendent. It can sound fuzzy and utterly disconnected from the world. It sometimes seems naïve. Pejoratively, it is said to be “crunchy” and unsubstantial.

That’s why I take the time to read the listserv—it can be crunchy—and I like that. The concepts I learned 25 years ago fundamentally shaped my religious practice and theology. But I am a very different Jew, rabbi, and human now, so it’s not surprising that some of the things I read on the listserv are not in my spiritual realm.

This listserv is generally not a contentious space. We tend to be chill, spiritually adroit, and not prone to critique others. We learn early on that while each one of us has our own unique spiritual interiority, Jewish spirituality emphasizes finding the sacred within community rather than in isolation. Even private prayer is often phrased in the plural “we” rather than “I.” Mutual respect becomes a spiritual imperative.

So it struck me when there was a dust-up last week. A leading personality in the institute’s past and present, whom I will call Leah (I’m using a pseudonym to avoid any gossip), sent in an entry to the listserv. This is how it began: “Here’s what I know: Nothing is wrong. This physical dimension (out of the infinite dimensions of Being) is designed to facilitate the deepening of love and the awakening of Unity consciousness, often through challenge.” I understand Leah’s Buddhist teaching here. Don’t get confused by the specific shape of an argument or the actions of others. Don’t get sucked into foolishness or malicious arguments, or hateful rhetoric. Rise to the higher dimension of love, and don’t be misled by lower dimensional artifices. Don’t engage in the murky realm of self-interest.

But Leah’s transcendental configuration was not gratefully received by all. And let me be very quick to point out that Leah is only goodness, music, and life-affirmation. She was not seeking to hurt anyone. But there were a few responses that gutted me. They were from the families of trans kids who are beside themselves with worry and fear. Reading “nothing is wrong” is not only NOT comforting; they are words that feel ignorant and uninformed.

With this nothing is wrong logic, we could successfully argue that this planet Earth, this little blue marble, is one infinitesimally tiny, insignificant blur on the face of the Milky Way whose disappearance would mean nothing to the galaxy. But it would mean something to us. This is all we’ve got, so it all counts.

Nothing is wrong works in one’s spiritual practice. It’s a journal entry, a phrase to repeat while meditating. From 1000 miles up in space, nothing is wrong. From a dojo or a retreat center, nothing is wrong. But right here in this world so filled with woe and fear, a world where we aren’t sure what pages may be torn up, to say nothing is wrong feels dismissive and opaque. Something is wrong, and we’re the ones who have to try to fix it.

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The Secret of Life According to Moses

The Jewish calendar directs our trip through Torah. Every week we roll the scroll to the prescribed chapters and then read/chant/study them, from Genesis through to Deuteronomy. It’s exciting to follow the bouncing parasha ball – sometimes. Sure, Leviticus is pretty tough to warm up to, what with all the animal sacrifices and blood splashing. And Numbers has more than its share of legalize. But we are now in Book Two of the Torah – Exodus. And it’s a great ride.

As I’ve often taught over lo these past forty years, the Torah never changes. But we do. The story of Jacob wrestling in the night feels so intimately connected to our souls when we’re younger. Then we read the Akedah, the binding of Isaac, as young parents, and suddenly that story resonates with enormous gravitas. Later still when we read of Moses looking out over his people and wondering how we got so far – and how much further we need to go – we recognize the wisdom in aging and the perspective we gain with time and experience.

Even though we still have a couple of weeks before we arrive at the Exodus exit, I found myself mulling over the fate of the Jewish people as told in this particular tale. What I arrived at is a central truth for us: life can be a slog. For all the spiritual majesty of the Torah, there’s also an inordinate amount of text that describes all the schlepping and dealing with the reality of being in process. Because that’s all we’ve really got.

When kids ask from the back seat, “Are we there yet?’” it’s not to be funny or obnoxious. They haven’t yet metabolized the truth that enlightened philosophers have shared, that it’s the journey and not the destination that counts.

Each and every one of us has a final destination. Of this we are 100% completely sure. There’s no shortcut around it. I know: some scientists and researchers are eager to make a detour.  There’s a company under the Alphabet tent called Calico, whose mission is to harness advanced technologies and model systems to increase an understanding of the biology that controls human aging. Calico will use that knowledge to devise interventions that enable people to lead longer and healthier lives.

This desire to augment the human experience with rejuvenation biotechnology is not surprising. To live longer, healthier lives is the prime directive of modern medicine and big pharma. To cheat the angel of death is a fantasy that dates back millennia. But, can the angel of death can be cheated? Well, it ain’t necessarily so. We are all on the same road. So why not make the journey one of joy and connection? Why not reach out with open hearts and empathy?

Or as James Taylor once sang,

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time

Any fool can do it

There ain’t nothing to it

Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill

But since we’re on our way down

We might as well enjoy the ride

The secret of love is in opening up your heart

It’s okay to feel afraid

But don’t let that stand in your way

‘Cause anyone knows that love is the only road

And since we’re only here for a while

Might as well show some style

Moses doesn’t need to get to the Promised Land. He looks across the Jordan River and he sees the path of his progeny. Good for them, he thinks, his aged body creaking, his eyes clouded, his posture less than perfect. Let my people go and learn about all the goodness planted in each of their souls. I have arrived. And they will, too.

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Wrapping Up

I have never shied away from reading the news. My days usually begin with the New York Times, followed by the Washington Post, and ending with The Globe. I typically read the headlines and then a few top stories per paper. By the time I’m in gear for the day, I am reasonably informed with some help from NPR.

But as 2023 comes to a twitchy, stumbling conclusion, my news habits have changed. I just can’t do it anymore. I simply can’t bear carrying the news around in my head. To quote John Coffey in The Green Mile, “I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world every day. There’s too much of it. It’s like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?”

I can understand. The sheer brutality that surrounds us festers and grows like a malignant virus. The innocent suffer. We live in a Universe of shades and variations. Absolutism does not fit. Yet the face-off between the extremes, good and bad, the right and the wrong, becomes more heated and cacophonous.

I haven’t tuned out entirely, of course. I am obligated, as a Jew, a rabbi, an American citizen, a father, and a grandfather, to pay attention to the world. I just take quick dips into the news now, a few minutes at a time. Any more than that, and it starts to feel toxic.

When the ball drops in Times Square, nine days from today, and the calendar resets and the clocks pull us into 2024, I will pray for the courage to shoulder the burdens of being a Jew today. I will pray for communal resilience in the face of an onslaught of antisemitism. I will pray for my own country, rattled by pernicious lies and conspiracy theories about stolen elections and evil immigrants. I will pray for relief from the ineluctable growth of fascism all over the world.

I think of the Haskiveynu prayer and the words: Shield and shelter us beneath the shadow of Your wings. Defend us against enemies, illness, war, famine, and sorrow. Distance us from wrongdoing. For You, God, watch over us and deliver us. For You, God, are gracious and merciful. Guard our going and coming to life and peace evermore.

I suppose there’s no need to author a new prayer at all. The tradition expressed that wistful desire for peace of mind and safety two thousand years ago, which is, I suppose, the good news and the bad news. Bad news because it shows that two millennia have passed, and we’re still looking for relief from the grief of life. And the good news? We keep praying. We keep believing that goodness may triumph, that cooler heads will prevail, that reasonable people will rise up to say no to the minions of darkness and corruption, and yes to freedom.

May the time come when I can read the news again and find a semblance of order and grace. I pray that we may all have a good new year, blessed with joy and hope and life renewed.

This is the final edition of Before Shabbat for 2023. I’m going on a brief hiatus, but I’ll be back! A blessing on your heads.

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