Before Shabbat

My to-do list for the High Holy Days is long and challenging. It involves a series of tasks: organizing my HHD binders, reading and rereading my sermons and editing them yet again, planning Rosh Hashanah dinner, figuring out what tie to wear… Lots of quotidian tasks to check off.

But there’s more to contemplate as we move into the new year than what cut of brisket to buy. As I scan this familiar checklist, I realize something essential is missing. The to-do list needs to be expanded to include matters of the spirit. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

I know that Socrates wasn’t Jewish, but this statement is so… so Jewish! Both Greek and Jewish wisdom traditions understand that self-reflection isn’t merely a philosophical exercise—it’s a sacred duty. Each one of us is gifted with a body and a soul. And we have the extraordinary power of consciousness. Which means we are not prisoners of the superficial world; we are not held captive by the day-to-day tasks alone.

As this Jewish year of 5785 draws to a close, we are invited to contemplate larger truths. We can enter the deeper waters of meaning and substance. This is what they call liminality—living in the shifting ocean between “who I was” and “who I might become.” It’s turbulent water, which is why we’re tempted not to wade in, to avoid this sometimes frightening dimension of truth and joy and failure and disappointment. It’s easier to stay on the surface, skimming along with our practical concerns.

But the most beautiful aspects of our lives emerge when we go deep, when we can acknowledge the totality of our being. What would it mean to ask ourselves: Where have I grown this year? What relationships need tending? What dreams have I deferred, and why? It’s all here: the truth and the lies, the sacred and the profane. To avoid examining our lives is to leave the best stuff on the table. Don’t miss the opportunity to be more present in your own body. Don’t miss the chance to see just how amazing you are.

This is a time to forgive others and to forgive yourself. It’s not a natural act—forgiveness takes tremendous courage and true transparency. But it is so worth it.

So I’ve added another item to my to-do list: “Examine life—with courage, with compassion, with curiosity.” I hope you’ll add it to yours too.

My fifteen-minute drive to the temple offers the perfect opportunity to absorb at least part of a podcast. I appreciate good podcasts—the information they provide, the repartee between host and guest, or among multiple hosts. (Though I dislike the standard format where people talk and laugh simultaneously, often referencing inside jokes or contemporary cultural memes that leave me, a 71-year-old baby boomer, in the dark.)

My favorites include The Daily, Ezra Klein, Pod Save America, Unholy: two Jews on the news, The Rewatchables, Ask A Spaceman! and Straight No Chaser. This list is hardly exhaustive: my friend, Claude Anthropic says that there are between 3-5 million podcasts in English alone. But these seven cover a wide range of my interests and they make me feel like I’ve learned something on my way into TBA. From current events to social commentary to Jews to jazz with some cosmology thrown in: it’s a snapshot of my brain.

But this morning was different. After all, today is a big day. This is the inaugural Shabbat for the ELC and there’s a rumor that the talking hallah will make an appearance.  It’s the first Shabbat that we return live and in person, and as always, accessible through the TBA livestream. We have a guest musician, the inimitable Elana Arian, joining me and Cantor Snyder to share her magnificent music. It’s the official board installation for TBA’s lay leadership team. Such good and propitious events!

So I decided to come to the temple accompanied by music for inspiration. I chose something that surprised even me: a live recording from the 1965 Newport Jazz Festival by my favorite jazz quartet: John Coltrane, McCoy Tyner, Jimmy Garrison and Elvin Jones, performing the melody, One Down, One Up.

It is not a mellow, ease into it piece. It is blue-hot and assertive. It captures the sound of soulful energy and drive. It is captivating and, at times, breathtaking. And let me warn you if you dare to click on the link. It is edgy and not a beginner’s jazz tune – beware!

I selected this admittedly avant-garde piece because I’m feeling the urgency of the moment. I’m feeling so much angst about the state of our world, the state of Israel, the state of our nation. I’m feeling enormous joy about being at the threshold of a new year, one we always pray will be good and sweet. I’m feeling gratitude and caution about being in treatment for bladder cancer (5 down, one to go!). In other words, there’s a lot of chaos and emotion going around… and this is all reflected in Trane’s outrageous soprano solos.

I’m trying to remind myself that I was not forced onto the roller coaster, that I signed up of my own free will – unless there’s no such thing as free will, but that’s another meditation. This roller coaster has no signposts or explanation. There’s no telling when the ride ends. But before it does, the precipitous rise and fall of the tracks, the sudden upside-down twists and turns, the feeling that the bottom’s falling out, the click of the uphill ascent, and even the occasional span of peaceful travel, well, that’s what we get. Or, as James Taylor sings it, it’s just a lovely ride.

It’s good to be back.